I keep trying to get my fairly conventional, Irish-Catholic girlfriend to dress as a nun in the bedroom, and she keeps telling me that it’s offensive. But it seems like it would have to be a thing. Right? Can you please tell me if this is normal, and also how to get the good Catholic dyke in my life to try some role play???
Pretty in Plaid
It’s hard to give a decisive answer to the question of whether or not this is normal based on what you’ve told us, so I’ll just say this: it really depends on whether you’ve known nuns primarily through movies, television, and Lady Gaga videos, or through actual firsthand experience.
If you are only really familiar with nuns as depicted in the media, then I would say the nun fetish is nothing to worry about. It probably means you have a repressed interest in mild to moderate BDSM activity and a strong love for Holy Mother Church–in short, you are a good Catholic dyke! Yay!
If, on the other hand, you have known, been taught by, or worked with any nuns personally, then–while I wish to be an affirming and sex-positive Catholic dyke–I am a tad concerned. The ladies at Good Catholic Dykes have known a lot of nuns. And we are here to tell you, they do wonderful work for the poor and marginalized, but they do not appear in our sexual fantasies. In our experience, nuns are, without exception, seventy-year-old women who feed stray cats, wear elastic waist pants, and wash and reuse plastic sandwich bags until they decompose. They are tough old broads; we love, respect, and fear them. But not in a hot way. Never in a hot way.
A third possibility, of course, is that you’ve known real nuns but only fantasize about TV nuns–in which case, that’s some impressive compartmentalization, and well done you! If you think about it, role play fantasies are just that–fantasies. They rarely have anything to do with anyone’s actual lived experiences of school principals, nurses, or ladycops. The heart wants what it wants. So I would suggest that you pass my words of wisdom along to your girlfriend–it may help her understand where you’re coming from or, at the very least, assuage some of her fears about your feelings toward her aunt. Her aunt is a nun, you know. So.
Get it girl,
Got a question for the dykes? Send us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org